Thursday, 16 January 2014

THE ROLES OF PASTORS’ WIVES IN AN EFFECTIVE CHURCH FAMILY MINISTRY



LECTURE DELIVERED BY REV. (MRS.) NIKE JAYESIMI AT OGUN BAPTIST CONFERENCE 2013 WORKERS’ SEMINAR.
THE ROLES OF PASTORS’ WIVES IN AN EFFECTIVE CHURCH FAMILY MINISTRY
Introduction
This year is a unique one for the Nigerian Baptist Convention at large because of the centenary anniversary of the denomination. Ogun Baptist Conference theme for the year is Church and family ministry in the end time (Joshua 24:15). This is a year to examine our past, ponder on our present and to make vivid decision on our future as followers and children of the Most High God in preparation for the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Pastors’ wives and Pastors are the Torch Bearers of the church. They are expected to give spiritual leadership to the church through divine guidance from above. The church leadership must reflect the glory of God and lead by example in order to lead the members aright. Pastor’s wife must make herself available to attend church, association, conference and convention fellowship in order to be current and not obsolete in the scheme of God. Pastors’ wives must be ready to serve effectively for the members not to derail in doing the will of God. It must be a willing decision of Pastors’ wives to see to the smooth running of the church family ministry. Pastors’ wives have been called into shared ministry with their husbands and they must see the assignment as an opportunity to serve God. Care must be taken not to lord over the church members but to live out the word of God for members to follow suit. You must be satisfied with your position as helpmeet to a Pastor and be ready to give up your family, tradition and personal prestige to fulfill God’s call on your life. “No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs-he wants to please his commanding officer” (2 Tim. 2:4).
Lateju (2013:94) classified the Pastors’ wives church family ministry areas into three as follows:
(a)Pastors’ wives ministry among youth and children.
(b)Pastors’ wives ministry among men.
(c)Pastors’ wives ministry among women (Women’s Missionary Union).
(a)Pastors’ wives among youth and children:
Pastor’s wife is a mother and matron for the youths in the church. Youth should be able to approach her freely for counsel without hesitation of any form. Pastor’s wife must be able to relate well with the youth individually at a close range not at far distance. Youth should be given guidance on the way forward in life such as admission into higher institution of learning, skill acquisition, decent and godly dressing, choice of future partner, effective and appropriate use of god’s gift and talents, and other life challenges most especially issues that youth may not be able to discuss easily with their parents like sexual matters. Make use of social media in reaching and celebrating the youths because we are in computer age presently.
Pastor’s wife is suppose to be parent and guidance to the children in the church by teaching, equipping, disciplining, caring, preaching, leading and visiting the children at home and in the school at interval. Be part of total children ministry of the church. When you commit yourself to the cause of the ministry, God will supply the needed strength and materials for the assignment. When people noticed Jesus commitment, they brought children to him. You also need to be children friendly and be properly trained for the assignment by attending seminars and workshop organized for the purpose. See other children workers as partner in progress and not as rivals or competitors. Encourage and motivate children workers to serve the Lord faithfully.     
 (b) Pastors’ wives ministry among men:
Men in the church also need the services of a Pastor’s wife like other church members. There is need to respect and honour them as father, brother, uncle, husband and grandfather. You need to deal with men with caution because they are of opposite sex. Visit them in company of your husband and pray for them. Counsel and encourage them to live meaningful Christian life that will make them to handle life challenges in godly manner. Correct them in love and don’t crush their egos but fan it. Men usually form the larger part of the church executive council and the stakeholders of the church, when they have issues to settle with your husband don’t transfer aggression, just pray along with your husband and commit everything to the Lord for divine intervention. Be confidence in your relationship with men in the Church; don’t allow inferiority complex and low self esteem to depress you as a minister of God. Men in the church can be good encourager in the ministry if pastor’s wife can rise up to challenges. “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men” (Prov. 22:29). A deacon in my former church challenged and encouraged me to learn driving, publish book and be theologically trained. You are called to be agent of transformation to all.
(c)Pastors’ wives ministry among women:
Pastor’s wife is the leader of the women in the church by the virtue of her status. You need to relate with them appropriately. Make sure you are not one sided in your approach to issues. Favoritism to some members of the church will not be of help in achieving the desired church objectives.   Pastor’s wife must play leading role in Women Missionary Union in order to key into the Baptist church ministry effectively. There is need to learn the rudiment of the union for effective and efficient service among the women in the church family ministry. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who correctly handles the word of truth” (2 Tim. 2:15). Women in the church may be older than the Pastor’s wife and she will also need to lead them at the same time, therefore humility needs to be employed in leading them. You need to command respect and never demand for it. Use criticism to your advantage by learning from it and do not be embitter by it. Learn to listen in order to be wise. Do not personalize issues but be objective in taking position on any matter. “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation (Phi. 2:14-15).
Conclusion
 Pastors’ wives role in the church family ministry is to be agent of transformation in leading people to God. To whom much is given much is expected. Pastors’ wives must not just occupy position or space in the church or pastorium but to affect the church family ministry positively. “ In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble” (2 Tim. 2:20). Above all, balance your role in the church family ministry with the leading of the Holy Spirit for divine empowerment and companion.

REFERENCE
Lateju R.A (2013), Precious as rose. Ibadan: Publications Department, Nigerian Baptist Convention.

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